Simon Harriyott

The Perfect Geek Cafe

Today, Relly tweeted about starting a geeky teashop. I have spent time trying to find the perfect laptop-friendly coffee-shop, and so have a few feature suggestions.


Each table should have sockets to power the laptops. Preferably, under the table, or even as part of the table. Tripping over cables is bad. 

Usage Guidelines

One of my bigger social awkwardnesses is working out how many coffees per hour I should buy, and whether that goes down if I have lunch, but then if it's only the soup, does it go up a bit again? What should I do if it gets busy? Should I give up my seat in favour of another diner, or am I just as valid a customer? Whatever they are, the guidelines should be clearly displayed at the ordering point, on the menu and the website.


I'll tell you what is a nuisance; wanting to buy another coffee, but not wanting to leave valuables on the table to go to the counter, so awkwardly carrying a laptop, wondering if anyone would really bother to steal the charger, or should I take that too? Table service would be good, but could be seen as a way to force the customer to buy more or get out. A button, as used to someone flight attendants should be provided.

Also, twitter would be used for ordering. When you visit the cafe, you follow their twitter account, which will auto-follow back. When requiring sustenance, the order is DMed with the table number, and delivered when ready.

Lloyds Coffee House

Comfort Breaks

A bit like ordering, carrying a laptop to the loo is disquieting. This needs a bit more thought, but the flight-attendant button could be useful here too. Once summoned, the table attendant could combine keeping an eye on the customer's gear whilst clearing the nearby tables.


Obviously free, fast, and the password clearly displayed, but a common problem with cafe wi-fi is that it stops working, and a reset is required. All staff should know how to reset the router. Resets would be requested with the flight-attendant button.

For bonus points, each table will contain a hub with CAT5 cables in place (probably glued or something).


There wouldn't be any. Especially not Heart FM.

28 June 2013